These words are transcribed without permission the way they appear in the "Strangeways Here We Come" album. Additions to the printed lyrics are in darker text while omissions are striken out.

HELLO
I am the ghost of Troubled Joe
hung by his pretty white neck
some eighteen months ago ¹
I travelled to a mystical time zone
but and I missed my bed
so and I soon came home ²
they said:
"there's too much caffeine
in your blood stream
and a lack of real spice
in your life"
I said:
"leave me alone
because I'm alright, dad
just surprised to still ³
be on my own...."
Ooh, but don't mention love
I'd hate the strain of the pain again ⁴
a rush and a push and the land that
we stand on is ours
it has been before
so it shall be again
and people who are uglier than you and I
they take what they need, and just leave ⁵
Ooh, but don't mention love
I'd hate the pain and the strain all over again ⁶
a rush and a push and the land that
we stand on is ours
it has been before
so why can't it be now?
and people who are weaker than you and I
they take what they want from life ⁷
Ooh, but don't mention love
no no - just don't mention love!
a rush and a push and the land that
we stand on is ours
your youth may be gone ⁸
but you're still a young man
so phone me, phone me, phone me
so phone me, phone me, phone me
Ooh, I think I'm in love
Ooh, I think I'm in love
Ooh, I think I'm in love
Urrgh, I think I'm in lerv

 

² When Morrissey did this song without the Smiths on his 2004 You Are The Quarry tour he always changed this line to "so I came straight home".

³ When Morrissey did this song without the Smiths on his 2004 You Are The Quarry tour he usually changed this line to "I'm just surprised to still be on my own".

⁴ When Morrissey did this song without the Smiths on his 2004 You Are The Quarry tour he often changed this line to "I'd hate the pain of the strain".

⁵ When Morrissey did this song without the Smiths on his 2004 You Are The Quarry tour he sometimes changed this line to "they take what they want from life" or "they take who they want from life".

⁶ When Morrissey did this song without the Smiths on his 2004 You Are The Quarry tour he often changed this line to "I'd hate the strain of the pain".

⁷ When Morrissey did this song without the Smiths on his 2004 You Are The Quarry tour he often changed this line to "they have who they want from life" or "they have what they want from life".

⁸ When Morrissey did this song without the Smiths on his 2004 You Are The Quarry tour he almost always changed this line to "my youth may be gone, but I'm still a young man" or "my youth may be gone, but I'm still a good man".