These words are transcribed without permission the way they appear in the original edition of the "Maladjusted" album. Additions to the printed lyrics are in darker text while omissions are striken out.

(Go on!)
He's romancing you
and chancing his arm
and he'll be here
smiling on time ¹
he's romancing you
and chancing his arm
and he'll be here
smiling on time ¹
Roy's keen oh Roy's keen
Roy's keen oh Roy's keen
we've never seen a
keener window-cleaner ²
back up the ladder
into each corner
dunking the chamois
just think of the goodwill
the ladder's a planet
Roy is a star, and
I am a satellite
(but that's alright)
He can hold a smile for as long
as you require (even longer)
he can hold a smile for as long
as you require (even longer)
Roy's keen oh Roy's keen
Roy's keen oh Roy's keen
we've never seen a
keener window-cleaner ²
back up the ladder
into each corner
dunking the chamois
just think of the goodwill
the ladder's a planet
Roy is a star, and
I am a satellite
I will be set alight
don't say you'll hold it steady *
then you let it go *
don't say you'll hold it steady *
then you let it go *
You're up the ladder *
into each corner *
foot in a bucket *
we trust you to wreck it *
Even when it's under your nose
well, you just can't
see it, can you? ³
well it's here
right under your nose
and you just can't
see it, can you? ³
Roy's keen
Roy's keen
Roy's keen
Roy's keen
we've never seen a
keener window-cleaner

 

² Quite often on the 1999 Oye Esteban tour Morrissey sang "we've never seen a keener midfielder".

³ On the Oye Esteban tour Morrissey often sang "well it's here right under your nose and you just can't smell it, can you?".

* When performing the song on the 1997 Maladjusted tour and the 1999 Oye Esteban tour Morrissey skipped this verse. He also changed the "I will be set alight" line just before it to "but that's alright".