21 February 1984|
Town Hall, Bournemouth
Hand In GloveBournemouth was memorable, but not for the right reasons. The Smiths left stage 35 minutes into the concert because the crowd didn't seem very interested into what was happening in front of them. The band was eventually called back and Morrissey had to scold the audience and get signs of encouragement before the Smiths decided to resume the show.
After the tour opener "Hand In Glove" Morrissey greeted the audience "Hello Bournemouth!" In "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now", which was not yet lyrically quite the version that would be released as a single three months down the road, he sang the usual alternate line "What she said to me at the end of the day". He also changed another line to "You've been in my house too long she said". After the song he asked "Shouldn't you be at home studying? Don't forget those exams!" He took liberties with the lyrics of "This Charming Man", singing "It's gruesome that someone so ugly should care". He tried to introduce "Pretty Girls Make Graves" but was interrupted by too much heckling: "Oh the lesson to be learned... LISTEN! LISTEN!"
Morrissey played a few lines of flute in the outro to "Barbarism Begins At Home". It is not known whether the flute had been brought on stage by himself or if it had been thrown to him by someone in the audience. "Back To The Old House" was introduced with the words "And now something to send you to sleep". It probably had the expected effect, because after that song the Smiths left stage and the DJ put the music back on. The audience was obviously surprised, the show had barely lasted longer than half an hour. They shouted, booed and screamed and eventually the band came back on stage. Morrissey then asked "Listen, we're really confused, do you actually like us or not? (crowd: 'Yeah!) Okay..." The band then launched into "What Difference Does It Make?". In the latter number Morrissey changed a line to "but now you make me feel so ashamed because I only got two heads".
After the song Morrissey exclaimed "Goodbye! Remind me, I must move to Bournemouth!" and the band left the stage again. The crowd cheered and shouted for the Smiths to come back again. After enough encouragement the band finally agreed to resume the show. On returning Morrissey led the crowd to repeat after him "Smiths! Smiths! Smiths!" three times, then teased them by saying "Don't be trained!". Songs were constantly being requested and Morrissey had to shush the audience. Someone asked for "Handsome Devil", Morrissey said "No! No!" and the band went into "Reel Around The Fountain". Once more Morrissey was in the mood for improvisation. This time he sang "People said that you were easily led, and they were right!" (probably a reference to his having just led them into chanting the band's name) and "You can pin and mount me like a butterfly, if you want to".
"You've Got Everything Now" was next and the lyric changes in that one were even more numerous. Some of those changes had been heard before, but others were completely new: "No, I've never had a job because frankly, I just don't want one!"; "No, I've never had a job because I'm too ugly!"; "A friendship sadly lost, it isn't true and it's false"; "You are your mother's only son and you're a miserable one". Some lines were just not finished, they simply ended with Morrissey yodeling: "I just want to be seen... hee-hoo-hoo-hoo!". The funniest change of all was when Morrissey pulled the flute out again and used it to finish the line "What a terrible mess I've made of my life, oh what a (flute!)".
Finally the band gave in to the requests for "Handsome Devil". Before going into it Morrissey said "So? Okay... since you asked... I bet nobody knows the words... true..." He flippantly changed a line into that one to "I know what eggs are for and I'd like to help myself"!
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